hes everything you want,

and everything you cant have....

someone ask me if i miss you.i didnt answer.i just close my eyes and walk away,
and i whisper: so much...

im seventeen,i cant seem to get hold of my thoughts,
its like everything i did was all wrong and i feel stupid as breathing felt like a burden to me.
i want him.
but then,thinking hed want her,i decided i dont want him. i think i wanna leave my 'world' and just linger in his for a while. just to know what hes thinking, what hes doing, what he feels..
it scared me just to know what 'emptiness' feels like..
have you ever felt it before?
the feeling when youre not in love or having a crush on sumone,and you just did the same thing every freakin day..and then you just pause and think : im empty..
sometimes im grateful that i havent got any chance to tell him i want him to be mine,but then,i wondered what would happen if i told him.. i wish i never met him.
would you call this rebound? but nothing ended..and heck,nothing even started..if i had you,
*sigh*
being with you suffocates me,its hard just to breathe..but if you leave,id probably die..
nahhhhh....
im just envisaging..not that it will happen..,


i want his heart..