ERM..matsu byokii..!

~Byoki no anata o matte..!!!


haishh..soo..yeah..i did it. i did what i could and btw,we had a spectacular day at sunway lagoon last saturday..it was tiring,adrenaline-rush-ing,lots of wet stuff involved(hahaha), and yeah, i think it i did pretty alright.. lucky me,i did my ''homework'',and wallah,all the things ive prepared for my so-called presentation went well..infact,it went out to be what they call : smooth...

Having some paranoia about not being 'noticed,heard and known', regardless of any of the above, im soo in the game right now.yeah,im in it to definitely win it. maybe the word 'hard' or 'impossible' may sometimes run around in my silly brain,but..nahhhHH..ill wait.

this is absurd,sometimes i thought of that coz i kept telling myself: ''WHO would notice your presence''
but the saddest part was, there was some part of me saying that the this words: ''NO ONE notice me'' dabbles in his mind..always lingering there,and theres another part of me just want to rub it off.not just for myself,ut for both of us..is this feeling wrong? is it soo impossible for a person who was not noticeable to be with one who doesnt really connect with the people around?? is it?

I need answer.just one.but waiting for that one particular answer made me nervous.scared, even.. maybe i dont want to know..maybe its best we just be ourself and endure this world and maybe we just have to get stuck in our own world..let them all be.yeah,let them be.. but nahh..ofcourse my heart begs for answers..
but i dont even know if im ready..ready to be loved? or ready to be rejected? seriously no idea,but it was hard,and i played my part..so we just have to wait. i have to wait. and seems like..i will..matsu byokii..

Whattehell would happen to me if i know the answer? itll be such miracle if i am 'liked'..and if im not 'liked', i'll just get hurt.another bruised on the heart,right there on the spot. damn,i dont want that,but we dont really know what'll happen for sure,soo..yeah,let it flow..

And as they say,go for it,fight for it, as for me, i just need to: wait for it


p/s: im being totally absurd by thinking :maybe i dont want ''some'' people to read this post..maybe i do..but belle..if,i repeat if you read this crap,just ignore it kay,pretend like you haven seen this post.it was nothing anyway.. -.-'''


so yeah.it was: koidenai..